Limbo

There are times of transition when one feels like she is in some sort of limbo. I have just made a big move, I have decided to leave my official enrollment at school to go live in India and make spiritually educational films for the public. I have been editing video to give to my Guru and have been somewhat progressing but I do have a feeling like I’m in a limbo. Like I do not know what I am doing, who for, and what is my result.

Actually, if I could for once feel like I am not expecting the result, it would be so much easier. Yet that is not exactly the feeling that I have. There is a deeper question,: who am I, what am I doing? Everything must begin from this type of inquiry. If one sincerely inquires and hankers to know the truth, then it will surely come and reveal itself.
If I stop expecting position, name, fame, etc. from the things that I do and clearly identify these tendencies within myself, then maybe I can change….I must be willing to accept that these things are within me, otherwise there is no room for change. I remember doing network chiropractic care in Santa Cruz and S.R.I. which is a type of breathing exercise in which you identify your weaknesses and try to nourish them through breath and the acceptance and acknowledgment of their existence. Once I was able to accept my situations and feelings etc., and therefore identify them, I could heal. My body would actually heal. All of these things originate from the subtlest part of our existence and can make physical changes. So my limbo situation, it is temporary but if I can use this distress to take more shelter of prayer and divine guidance, that will be my utmost benefit and in that regard, that negativity will become positive. It will become a positive event for me if I can take more shelter of prayer.